In 2 Corinthians ch 3 and 4 we see Paul's hardship of defending his ministry as a genuine apostle of Christ. He was accused of walking according to the flesh, being deceitful, living for his own interests and charged that he was raising money to enrich himself. His integrity was in question and he said in ch 1 that he despaired even of life. Similar to David, he suffered while genuinely following the Lord.
Paul gives us rich insight how he did not trust in himself but in God who raises the dead. His letters to the church teach us how to press past our feelings to trust and depend on the Lord. Paul knew what it was like to feel boxed in a corner. I can so relate how the enemy at times can try to paralyze me that I am unable to express myself.
Yesturday afternoon in the Recovery Bible I was reading 2 sections of commentary that relate to the inner struggles that we face. Pg. 402 says, "When injustices have caused us pain, we often seek to bury them in the deep recesses of our mind. Being dishonest with ourself this way always allows pain from the past to translate into mistakes and suffering in the future. We often become powerless against the strength of our inner turmoil. We lose control of the very feelings we have tried to hide....There maybe so many strong emotions that we don't know how to process appropriately so we try to stuff them down inside. Eventually these feelings are expressed in some way. We need to be honest about our past hurts, express our feelings, confront the guilty, and work through forgiveness. If we try to ignore these hurts, we will be controlled by our explosive hidden emotions." At times this can be frustrating because we need to wait on God for timing and the rejection we recieve when speaking the truth can be painful and cause separation.
My need for approval dictated alot of my actions until the Lord showed me the danger and ensnarement of fearing man above God. I'm learning how to let go of situations that I have not fully been able to explain myself or have felt misunderstood by trusting that the Lord and His word are my covering and stand in my place to defend me when I do not have that opportunity to speak. This is building my trust in the Lord and taking the pressure off of my performance and need to appear perfect in the sight of others. This is God's grace and Presense living in me. Sometimes the situations that cause us to feel boxed in are the situations Christ is calling us to speak out about and it takes faith in Him and not in ourself to do so.
In 2 Cor 4:8 Paul says, "We are hard-pressed on every side, yet not crushed, we are perplexed, but not in dispair, persecuted, but not forsaken, struck down, but not destroyed." Paul recognized the limits of himself and that the power to deliver him comes from God and not himself or anyone else. The word crushed means to be constrained, reserved, and crowded into a narrow space. This describes the feeling of being troubled on every side. The feeling of affliction on the outside and fear on the inside.Can you relate to this this feeling like you are utterly at a loss seeing no way out?
Paul was so motivated by the grace of God in his life that his words in chaper 3 share how he was able to stand and resist his afflictions. In v 5, he recognized that he was helpless to think that his sufficiency came from himself. Paul had holy confidence in Christ only to deliver him.
The key verse that Paul shares and is my continual encouragement when I feel backed in is v 16 "when one TURNS to the Lord, the veil is taken away. Now the Lord is the Spirit; and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty." When we TURN to the Lord we are transformed. The word transformed means metamorphosis. In the Lord's Presense, we are changed by His Spirit and His word in us. My Nelson's commentary explains "As we behold the glory of God in the Word of God, the Spirit of God transforms us into the likeness of Jesus Christ. This is the description of the gradual process of sanctification."
When we TURN to the Lord, He changes us on the inside that we can stand in the face of our hardship in the power of God and His word. Pg 1482 of the Recovery Bible says, "Many humanistic recovery programs and other means for dealing with pain may seem effective in the short run, but success through them rapidly fades. The new life that God offers through an ongoing relationship with Jesus Christ is the only means to permanent recovery. Pouring out our heart to him, giving Jesus all of our hearts concerns is the only way to freedom and life.
Ps 118:5 says, "I called on the Lord in distress; The Lord answered me and set me in a broad place. The Lord is on my side; I will not fear. What can man do to me? The Lord is for me among those who help me." The word broad means wide-spacious, clear, open, obvious. How freeing this is how we can take our cares to Him and leave them at the cross as He moves us out of the darkness of feeling crowded in to an open spacious place in the light.
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