Thy Word Gives Life

God's word is healing and life-changing wherever we are in life. The bible reveals every false teacher we have had that points to any other way to freedom and truth then God's plan of salvation which is clear in His word; the way of the cross. It is the way of submission; the attitude of our heart.

I was assured of my calling to write 3 years ago. This was not an ascent but the Lord took me on a descent that purged so much out of me. God convinced me this would be nothing of my flesh, my scheming, or by any appointing of man or woman. The calling of God is God-given by the power of the Holy Spirit. He uses our natural gifts and abilities but what He does in and through us comes fully by His initiating and His annointing in complete dependence on His Spirit through our emptiness and nothingness so he receives the glory and not us. Our identity in Christ must come before any service HE will accomplish through us.

I've walked with Him, serving Him, seeking Him then 3 years ago He revealed the depth of my true need for Him. I was bound in the oppression of approval addiction-fearing man and needing to be right and at peace with everyone. I was emotionally paralyzed with no voice or personality of my own. I knew there were walls in my heart and had begged God to remove them. I was looking in every place to fill my cup of emptiness through service, books and other people which only led to more bondage. I found myself in a trap the devil purposed to destroy me but God designed to deliver me and point me to see my need of Him. He allowed circumstances and pain into my life that broke me forcing me to bend my knees and acknowledge to Him honestly what was going on in my heart. His word exposed what I was trying to hide in shame. I was so comfortable and used to hiding and denying the truth. I had spent years in my teens and into my 20's in and out of mental hospitals. I was emotionally paralyzed- imbalanced from depression/suicidal thoughts to complete anxiety at times even euphoria, so ashamed of my past and poor decisions. I didn't realize I was still hiding the truth of what was inside my heart that needed to come into the light for healing. It was in this place Jesus showed me specifically my sin and how my sin was affecting me and others. Such deep emotional insecurity and rejection, my own grief and bitterness, my selfishness, jealousy and unbelief.

He began showing me my need to repent and to surrender these emotions to Him. This verse came alive to me, "How you turned to God from idols to serve the living and true God 1 Thess1:9. He called me to TURN and to confess and acknowledge my sin to Him. To say, "Yes, I'm guilty." Maturity is taking responsibility for our own actions, thoughts and motives which the Lord led me to do. God, in one way or another leads us all to the place with Him that only the 2 of us can go. No one else. We have to settle who is Lord-Him or us. Then we choose to lay our self down and bow before His truth. It is a wonderful place! A place of tears at first then joy unspeakable as He wraps His loving arms around us like no One else. He Himself is the real desire of every human heart. His love for us is not dependent on the way we feel or perform.

I can so relate to the apostle Peter when he bowed before the Lord in Luke 5:8 saying "Depart from me, I am a sinful man." Jesus is so holy that this exposed Peter's sin of unbelief and self-sufficiency. God showed me further in this passage that I had an authority problem. I continued to do my part which is repent. I just didn't think God could do His part which is forgive me. Jesus went onto say to Peter, "Don't be afraid... (then Peter) left everything and followed Jesus v 10-11."

Faith is believing God is bigger than my shame and pain. It is accepting His offer of forgiveness and reconciliation through His shed blood at the cross. No works, religion, or man-made band-aid will do. Jesus only saves and gives new life. I accept His offer to stand in my place as I am choosing to let go and let Him live in me as His word renews my heart and life.

I have such freedom sharing this with you because I have come to believe there is nothing more satisfying than sitting in His love and Presence where all of my fears, sorrow and unbelief is washed away. It doesn't mean I won't sin anymore but I can humbly bring sin into the light so that I am not controlled by it. Trusting Jesus, releasing sin to Him, opens the door to new life as we believe He is aware of everything concerning us. In Him we are declared not guilty. We can sit under God's mercy, bathed in His continual love and forgiveness. This love and peace Jesus offers is too good to keep to myself. I'm trusting and looking to Him in complete faith to help me share with you how His word gives life, healing and hope day by day.

Thank you Kelli Regan for setting this blog up for me. Visit my favorite posts from Kelli at Awesome God, Ordinary Girl: The Church Has Left the Building. Part 1 and Part 2.