We may find our self separated from God not sure how to approach Him and listen to His voice. We must first recognize God is God and He hasn't changed. He is waiting and available all of the time. He desires us to continually live in His presense.
In Andrew Murray's book Humility he says, "The blessings of the higher Christian life were often like objects exposed in a shop window- one could see them clearly and yet could not reach them. If told to stretch out his hand and take, a man would answer, 'I cannot; there is a thick pane of glass between me and them.' Likewise, Christians may clearly see the blessed promises of perfect peace and rest, of overflowing love and joy, of abiding communion and fruitfulness, yet feel that there is something in-between hindering the true possession. And what might that be? Nothing but pride."
Pride erects these emotional walls between us and the Savior. We erect these walls around our heart to protect ourself but they are counterfeit to what we really need. When we hide under false humility and pretense we separate ourself from Him and others.
Pride isolates us.
God uses trials, pain and adversity as His tools to move us in the direction of TURNING to Him. He allows brokeness into our life to crush these walls. Brokeness is always a pathway to blessing even though is can be painful.
When I was a little girl my dad would often say, "Your being pretentious,"-defined a false show of what is really going on, -while angry on the inside."
Another word might be denial. I had a tendency to deny my pain pretending it didn't exist. I used all kinds of protection-pride-being one of them. How I can easily deflect my own pain and busy myself serving or doing for others. We can avoid or cope with our own pain by trying to fix others or focus on their needs instead of our own. I am aware how perfectionistic and performance driven I can be feeling like I am accepted based on these behaviors.
This is part of approval addiction. The need to "appear" right on the outside, doing what is expected, and be in pain unchecked on the inside. This is also called hypocracy. The Lord reveals
every motive and attitude of the heart whether we are doing it for Him as led by Him or out of guilt to win the favor of others which points to ourself.
Today I have a relationship with the Lord and know the Lord in such a way that I trust Him with my weaknesses and as soon as I become aware that I am doing this, I bring it to Him as with all sin that separates me from Him. I do not need to be approved by certain individuals to feel good about myself. I don't have to hide my sin and my hurt from the Holy Spirit and pretend it is not there. I can focus on pleasing God and when I first deal with my own issues instead of everyone elses, I will be more effective in helping others.
Believing Jesus is our Present help, wherever we are, whatever we have done. I can live in His grace, help and favor and not in the bondage of works in my own effort stuffing the truth.
Freedom comes as we honestly and humbly bring these walls before God and ask Him to remove our pride and separation. He is ready, willing and able to hear this hearts request and to restore our fellowship with Him and keep our relationships healthy with others.
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